Quote# 14527

There are plenty of stories of women in labor losing their tempers, shrieking and cursing, and generally doing things that they wouldn’t dream of doing at any other time. And most of these stories are true. When a woman is in child labor, somewhere inside, someone turns the volume on her heart all the way up and plugs in four amps. What may have been just a murmur of discontent under ordinary circumstances turns into a deafening shriek in the delivery room. Put another way, the pregnant woman is about to have a number of people come and visit her heart; and this company is going to see how well she has kept her heart in order. . . . Bitterness, when given the chance, will spring up and defile many. It is the sort of sin that easily pollutes others. If a woman goes into labor and has any sort of bitterness within her, it is a fairly certain thing that the delivery room will see this bitterness springing up and causing trouble.

Ben Merkle, Greyfriar's Hall 58 Comments [9/5/2006 12:00:00 AM]
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Amos

I find just stubbing my toe is an equally telling confession. Either that or pain just sucks.

9/5/2006 1:27:46 AM

Jodie

Yeah, because the pain, stress and anticipation of bringing a child into the world has nothing to do with it.

9/5/2006 1:35:25 AM

Nicole

Ever hear that pain causes irrational reactions?

9/5/2006 1:37:23 AM

CousinTed

I'd be cranky too if I were pushing another human being out of my body.

9/5/2006 1:38:32 AM

moog

Talk about kicking people when they're down! OK Ben Merkle, try shitting out a canon ball and see how happy you are.

9/5/2006 1:39:07 AM

Papabear

\"There are plenty of stories of women in labor losing their tempers, shrieking and cursing, and generally doing things that they wouldn’t dream of doing at any other time.\"

OK. What's your point? Pain can do things like that to one's demeanor.


\"And most of these stories are true.\"

So, what?


\"When a woman is in child labor, somewhere inside, someone turns the volume on her heart all the way up and plugs in four amps.

Colorful, but quite inaccurate.


\"What may have been just a murmur of discontent under ordinary circumstances turns into a deafening shriek in the delivery room.\"

It can hurt, you knucklehead. It can also be a time of great anxiety. Pain and anxiety compound each other's effects.


\"Put another way, the pregnant woman is about to have a number of people come and visit her heart; and this company is going to see how well she has kept her heart in order. . . .\"

Again, colorful, but inaccurate. She may be under great stress, but those who love her should be prepared to forgive her less than model behavior.


\"Bitterness, when given the chance, will spring up and defile many.\"

It's the pain talking. Deal with it, assbite. Or, do you treat your wife so poorly you're afraid of what she might say about you?


\"It is the sort of sin that easily pollutes others. If a woman goes into labor and has any sort of bitterness within her, it is a fairly certain thing that the delivery room will see this bitterness springing up and causing trouble.\"

Why don't you worry about how SHE feels and not so much about what she may say about you? You seem quite the shallow asshat, Ben.

9/5/2006 1:49:31 AM

Peter

watermelon through a straw?

9/5/2006 2:01:12 AM

WritingIsMyReligion

Could it possibly be the pain? *considers*

NAAAAHHH....


9/5/2006 2:02:26 AM

Coffee

Come back after you've spent 12 hours in labor and then we'll talk.

9/5/2006 2:08:08 AM

DNi

It's not just pain -- there's also a lot of hormones, too. Of course, the concept of chemical imbalance is probably over this guy's ability of comprehension.

9/5/2006 2:08:22 AM

dykitty

Beenthere, It hurts like a bitch and yeah, I said mean shit. SO?

9/5/2006 2:11:56 AM

Star Cluster

This one is just too easy, but I got to it too late. What everybody else said.

9/5/2006 2:13:17 AM

Napoleon the Clown

Try pulling your bottom lip around the top of your head to the back of your neck. That's child labor. And that's why women tend to get a bit testy.

9/5/2006 2:29:54 AM

Libkitten

Let's see how you react when you're in absolute mind-numbing pain, shall we?

9/5/2006 2:40:58 AM

Julian

Let's put Ben's testicles in a vice and tighten it in regular contractions every few minutes and see if he can recite Shakespeare.

9/5/2006 2:48:35 AM

xplicit_UK

You know, BEN, maybe, just maybe, you aren't exactly qualified to comment on how a woman feels during child birth, on account of, you know... you being a man, and all. So why don't you shut up, please?

I would imagine Mary didn't exactly sing praises to the lord either when her 'lil sucker was born.

9/5/2006 2:49:09 AM

What the...?

I haven't had my baby yet, but I wish to god that Ben could be in the delivery room with me just so I can yank his balls off every time I get a contraction and see how many obscenities he spouts off!

And if we want to go the \"a woman's body is supposed to do this\" route, let's consider a man with gall stones. Once a doctor breaks them up, your body is designed to expel it, yet one that's 1/4\" in diameter is large enough to make a man pass out. Let's see how right your heart is and how much bitterness you have at that point.

9/5/2006 3:06:50 AM

JustinGG

It couldn't be that pain brings with it some psychological effects, such as a shitty mood?

\"Pardon me doctor, would you mind taking that small human from my uterus when you have the chance, please?\"

I don't fucking think so.

9/5/2006 3:26:39 AM

Hadanelith

What everyone else said.

9/5/2006 3:45:29 AM

David D.G.

I'll just add my voice to the chorus of \"Amens\" here.

No, actually, I've got one further comment. Ben, you really ought to do something about that nasty case of mediaeval chauvinism you've got there. Since you're so keen on a Dark Ages mentality, go see your friendly neighborhood barber-surgeon for a haircut and bloodletting, and learn a little bit about why we don't freakin' live there anymore!


~David D.G.

9/5/2006 3:59:32 AM

Tara Mobley

It's the pain, the fact she's probably been awake at odd hours while in that pain, and the sheer physical exertion. As someone who has gone through this fairly recently, this guy is full of it.

9/5/2006 4:43:03 AM

Zipperback

Try passing a kidney stone someday. Let's see what bitterness lies within you.

9/5/2006 5:40:17 AM

Redhunter

Whoo-hoo! I wouldn't want to be this guy. Hey Ben, your ears burned off yet?

9/5/2006 7:06:59 AM

Brain_In_A_Jar

Papabear - \"It's the pain talking. Deal with it, assbite. Or, do you treat your wife so poorly you're afraid of what she might say about you?\"

OWNED!

9/5/2006 10:57:40 AM

g-21-lto

From later in the same essay:

\"A woman should remember that labor is called labor for a reason, there will be a lot of work.\"

You think, shithead?

9/5/2006 11:20:32 AM

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